He's Such A Maroon
by Botsey
Summary: Nyota loves old Terran cartoons. Can she win Spock over?


HE'S SUCH A MAROON

Nyota loved classic Terran cartoons. She had even convinced her roommate Gaila to join her in her 'cartoon night'. They would lie on their beds, popcorn buckets propped on their laps, shoulders and heads against their headboard and laugh and laugh. Both of them agreed, Bugs Bunny was the wittiest, funniest, and most clever of all the characters. You could pit him against any of the others, or all of them at once, he would always came out on top.

Nyota was scheduled to accompany Captain Pike on an information gathering and cadet recruiting trip to Riverside Shipyard. She had not slept at all the night before. She had spent almost the entire time in the company of Lieutenant Commander Spock, her Star Fleet instructor. They had been at an obscure diner a distance from Star Fleet Academy. It was during their time together he had confessed his love for her. His love was reciprocated. Last night was such a revelation. The thoughts of their time together had kept her a bit distracted, but still focused enough to carry out her duties for this assignment, which included a tour of the work in progress-the star ship, and as she liked to think of it, as her ship, 'The Enterprise.'

After the day's activities the entire group had converged to unwind at the local bar, in fact, the only bar. She volunteered to go pick up her table's drinks. Checking out the menu, she rattled off the drink order from memory and looked to see if there was any new concoction she could sample. The bartender suggested the newest mix- and that sounded good to her.

"That's quite a lot of drinks for a lady," was a disembodied voice's comments. A face appeared, attached to a body seated two seats down.

The face looked a bit flushed, dirty blond hair disheveled and blue eyes red rimmed, maybe he was an all-night boozer. Then when she rejected his offer of a drink, he decided he would move closer. Yes, she was right in her assessment-he was tipsy. Now, in his condition, he decided he would try to make a hit on her. 'What could he be thinking, did I even remotely look like a bar pick-up,' were her thoughts.

Then things really got ugly. Four of her fellow cadets decided that they needed to step in as her protectors. One of the cadets, O'Malley, took the lead and facing the intruder with a threatening stance asked her, "Is this townie bothering you?"

"Yes, but it is nothing I can't handle." she replied.

The situation worked itself into a bar brawl. The melee ended when Commander Pike ordered them outside. As the four cadets responsible for the melee passed by her, she fingered each one-'He's a maroon, and he's one, here is another and finally the biggest maroon. Or maybe the boozer is the biggest one.'

She thinks of the contrast between this experience and the quiet peace, contentment and calm that she has shared with Spock and she smiles. She was sure that what had just happened would be all over the campus within one hour of their return. She would contact Spock as soon as they landed. She did not want him to hear about the occurrence from anyone but herself.

As soon as the craft landed she went to the nearest com-link and located Spock, he was in his office. She made straight away to let him know she was unharmed and give him the latest information on the Enterprise.

As she entered his office, he raised his head and turned to face her. There was a slight upturn to his lips and he rose, placing his hands behind his back and said.

"Cadet Uhura, it is a pleasure to see you. I trust your trip met with outstanding success."

"Yes Sir, it was quite informative."

She observed a slight twinkle in his eyes as he continued.

"Did your group find a way to unwind after a day of hard work?"

She knew that he knew and now he knew that she knew he knew. But that did not stop his continued questioning.

"I hear that Iowa is an area of large flat landscape of unrelenting monotony . Certainly they was a need for a little distraction."

She smiled and inquired, "How did you hear about it so quickly? I rushed over here in the hopes that I could give you the correct version. As you can see, I am uninjured."

Running his eye up and down her slight frame he says, "Yes I have now observed that you are uninjured… Cadet, I believe you are in the position to advise me as to the progress made on the Enterprise. If you are free, perhaps we can return to that eating establishment we happened upon yesterday. You will be able to verbally explain what progress has been made."

Nyota answered, "I am free."

Spock excused himself with a nod and closed down the lab. They then proceeded to the west gate and took the transport to, 'their place'.

Once seated Spock requested a download of Nyota's notes and then faced her, "I know it is illogical to worry, but once I was informed of what was described to me as a bar brawl, I was concerned for your safety. Captain Pike assured me that you were uninjured."

"It was just a bunch of brainless maroons acting in character," she reported. Human males and their egos can be most disconcerting. I'm sure I could have handled maroon number one, 'the all night boozer'. Unfortunately, he has signed up for Star Fleet. You don't have the other maroons in any of your classes. One, Cadet O'Malley, the second biggest maroon is on the security track with Star Fleet."

"Nyota I did not wish to interrupt your narrative, but I did not understand your use of the standard word 'maroon'. Is that not a designation for a color or hue? I believe it is derived from the 18th century French name for a sweet chestnut and has its roots in the medieval Greek word maraon."

Nyota grabbed her sides and laughed, and laughed some more. "Okay my loveable walking dictionary, I cannot explain verbally, but if you are willing to look at some antique cartoon holo vids with me, you will understand. Would you want me to bring them to your apartment later? I'll even bring popcorn."

"I am not familiar with this reference to cartoon, but I am willing to attempt a resolution of the use of the word maroon. I have sampled popcorn on the few occasion that I attended a cinema feature. I think I would enjoy that experience again."

"Spock wear something loose so you will not hurt yourself laughing."

After she said that she remembered, Vulcans NEVER laugh. She then said understandingly, "Even though you won't laugh, I think you will find it educational."

With that she looked around and placed her two fingers on the table and as his touched hers she felt a rush of happiness and 'I'm so glad to see you feelings' and she was overjoyed to have returned safely back to her real home-Spock.

She carried four holo vids in her bag and several packages of popcorn. As she reached the door it slid open and Spock stood there in anticipation of this evening's 'studies'.

She walked to the living room and deposited her bag, She handed the vids to Spock and pointed to the popcorn packages. He took her into the kitchen area and she placed one package into the cooking unit and waited. Once the popping started she listened carefully until the sound stopped. Spock had gone to the closet and secured two bowls and he dumped the very hot kernels into them. They then returned to the living room and Spock inserted the vid into the player and sat down. The machine had voice recognition and activation but Nyota told Spock she wanted to explain a few things about what they were going to see.

"First Spock, what do you know about fantasy?"

"I believe it is coupled with imagination, so it is not a reality."

"A very scientific explanation, but not off the mark. What you will see are animated drawings of animals that talk, think, reason and at times even dress like humans. They will each have names. My favorite is a rabbit named Bugs Bunny. He has a few nemesis-one is Elmer Fudd, another is Daffy Duck. Some other characters that will crop up are Whiley Coyote, the Road Runner, Pepe LaPew. I will name the others as they appear."

Spock nodded with a look of disbelief in his eyes and said in a monotone, "Play".

The theme music for the cartoons played and Nyota hummed along sitting on the edge of the sofa waiting…

Bugs Bunny climbed out of his hole holding his carrot, looking straight ahead he stooped forward and spoke, "What's up doc?"

Spock sits forward and asks Nyota, "Is this creature injured and in need of a physician?"

"No Spock, that is just the way he greets people."

He appeared to be trying to process that information and he sits back with both hands on his thighs, and the cartoon continues. Just after Bugs has tricked Elmer for the tenth time, using the same trick Bugs says, "What a maroon."

Nyota asked, "Based on the context of what has previously played out can you think of an appropriate word that is created by replacing one letter and removing one letter?"

Spock tilts his head to the right and then says, "moron".

Nyota bounces in her seat as if she has made a great break through.

"Yes, yes that's right. He is calling Elmer a moron."

"But why does he pronounces it as the color maroon," Spock inquires.

"To make us laugh," Nyota explains.

"Indeed."

Taking some popcorn in her hands she chews and Spock using his spoon does the same.

"So where are the Daffy Duck, Road Runner, Pepe LaPew and others?" is his inquiry.

Shaking her head and sighing, she says, "Not tonight Spock, I think I am getting a headache."

He reached over to gently massage her neck.

She thought to herself she had best keep Gaila as her cartoon night buddy.

In this area and possibly in this area only, the man she loved was such a maroon.


End file.
